"Truly Insane"

That is what my Beloved brother, Erik, called me something like a month ago (or was it two by now?), after I made a deal with God about how He HAS to make Himself known to a very dear mutual friend, or else I'd just rather not even be in Heaven someday. Why? Well, why would I want to spend all of Eternity in Spiritual Bliss with a God who gave me that chance, but wouldn't give it to another equally valuable woman who has named her price: She HAS to hear from Him in some form or another, or else she'll never believe He's real. You know, that sounds fair enough to me! And it really WAS my price, though I had never articulated it, or even coherantly realized it on a concious level. Yet it WAS there, plain and simple.

So is God real? Heh - yeah. Here's the truth: He speaks to those who He will, and apparently, I'm one of those chosen few. Sometimes He speaks more loudly than others. You can see the results of His Voice affecting my life. Yet there is SO much more to the story than that! I'm tempted to dig up old emails and chats, mostly between myself and Erik throughout the last more than a year now, and create a blog entry that forever immortalizes the classics. I recently did something similar in an email to him (I always write him 100k [or 101k] emails when he goes on vacation - it's something he knows is a-comin' and it's a chance for me to stretch myself Spiritually and linguistically), where I chronicled some of the "quotable quotes" from the last 6 months or so of our friendship. But this blog entry would be different. I should set aside some time to do that.

He also touches my cheeks, kisses me, hugs me, moves through me... It's utterly Amazing and Astounding! And completely unexpected and surreal. Often I find myself wondering "is this all really true, or have I lost my mind?" and then I just ask myself "Does it matter? Wouldn't God sorta step in and correct me somewhere along the way, setting me straight, if what I think I'm experiencing ISN'T from Him?" And then I remember the shooting stars, the fortune cookies He TOLD me to open which specifically spoke to situations He had me in (not vaguely, but specifically)... And I just want to cry at times, and laugh at other times. Who am I that He would do this? And Who is this God, this Champion of Warriors, this Husband of mine, that what goes on in my life is actually MORE important to Him than what's going on up there in the Great Blue Yonder?

Yes, when Erik baptised me (actually, God used Erik to do that, and TOLD me that it was Him baptising me through Erik, just to clarify), it was a Wedding with a Passover theme. Yes, there was a real Wedding Dress. Yes, I took vows (of accepting God's Forever Commitment to me, which keeps me Committed and Consecrated to Him Forever). Yes, yesterday, I had mom take pictures of me in my Wedding Dress (as nutty as that seemed to her and my dad). Why? Because when I'm older, I want to look back and Remember just what it was like to be in my early 30s and in Love with God, my Great Husband. I'm going to try posting one or two of them here (the MSN Photo thing just REALLY stinks as it totally distorted my pics). You'll note that, obviousely, God isn't standing or sitting with me in human form. Yet if you look closely, you can see Him there too. So that's my "here's Waldo" for today - see if you can see God in these pics, k?







Need some help? Heh - ask God to show you where He is in these pictures :D