The Story of Jesus and Me, III

The next few months were filled with my really just offloading onto poor Erik. He's a good guy, and can take a lot, and it's really surprising to me how he cares that much about his friends that he would let me or anyone else do that. There was SO much that had happened to me. And I had SO many questions that it seemed Erik had been given the answers to. Sometimes he answered them, other times, he just sat back and watched as God answered them Himself. There were books he gave me to read "Captivating" (which I didn't like at all, 'cause I was a Tomboy growing up and couldn't relate to much of it), and "The Sacred Romance" (which I got SO MUCH out of! Much clarification there.) At one point, a certain set of verses dealing with baptism, and the prompting of the Holy Spirit, made me decide that I might need baptism, and later, that I should ask God if I should get baptized. I did ask Him, and to my amazement, He immediately responded with "Yes." I asked "When?" "March." I was so exited that I ran inside and IMed with Erik, asking him to baptize me. Eventually, it occurred to me that I should ask God about that, and He told me "I will baptize you through Erik." (LOL - I kept that secret from Erik until the VERY DAY that my baptism took place. It was so hard at times, but fun too, and it was worth it to see the look on his face when I finally told him. He looked stunned and honored, and a little confused.)

And then one day, I read some verses in John 15 or thereabouts that had to do with the Father being in Jesus and Jesus being in His disciples. And maybe a day or two later, after taking a nap, I finally put it Together, with God's prompting. "Oneness." I had found it interesting that Erik had stopped referring to the study as the Oneness study, and had instead split it into two studies, the Beginners Study and the Advanced Study. "Oneness" just stuck out in my mind, and then I was reminded of those verses in John 15, and something clicked, and I Knew I was being Invited into the most Awesome Relationship I could EVER imagine! God within me, Living in my heart, Living THROUGH me... I was finally able to comprehend what it meant to have my Creator LOVE me so much that He wanted to be MARRIED to me... Me, a Married Woman? Married to the King of the Universe? At first, I kind of pushed the thought out of my mind - I couldn't understand... I knew that God Loved me, just like in Erik's story, but honestly, why would the King of the Universe want to be Truly INSIDE dirty old me? Look at everything I had done! Look at the temptations I still faced daily! (I later realized that these were satan's way of persecuting me). Later that evening, Erik and I had a LONG chat about it, and he guided me through my fears about accepting God's invitation into this New Life. He warned me that there was no telling what would happen, that satan wouldn't be allowed to screw with me until I was ready for it, and that once I accepted, there was no turning back.

Eventually, that night, on December 4, 2005, at around 10 PM, I did accept God's Proposal for a kind if Intimacy with me, 0 personal space, that I had never imagined, and that I'm still becoming Acquainted with now. On Dec. 21st, Erik and one of his best friends, April, threw me a Betrothal party that was like nothing I had ever been part of before. Then on March 25, 2006, Erik, April, and Sharif met with me and my whole family at Rooks Park, at 1 PM, to celebrate my baptismal-wedding. During that lunch, I gave a demonstration of how Passover relates to Spiritually leaving the world and the old life, being Cleansed, and starting the New Life. I burned that piece of paper I gave Erik at Heubach in front of my closest friends and family - they and my Husband are witnesses that my sins are gone, washed away by the Blood of the (Passover) Lamb.

We had a real Test of Faith that my baptism would happen at all, since God had not yet told me where it would be at. All He had said was "in the church" and "it will be warm" and "Let Erik surprise you" (btw, Erik, I think I now Know what He meant by that, as do you -- thank you for everything). We wound up having my baptism in a 100 degree hot-tub, which was awesome! I got MARRIED in a hot-tub - woohoo! That's better than a church baptism any day, I think! The next day, April and I went to the stream that leads from the "pondage and duckage" that Erik kept mentioning, and washed each other's feet, prayed over each other and Blessed each other. No, it wasn't because I was all the sudden "dirty" that I wanted to do that. It was because this was part of Passover, which was the theme of my baptismal-wedding lunch.

Since then, there has been much internal cleansing that has taken place in me, that I barely realized I needed and that has been a most difficult process. Erik in particular has been such a GREAT brother to me during this time, being honest with me even when it hurt the most, giving me up to God when there was nothing else that could be done, and sending me to the Tree to just Be. I couldn't ask for anything more from a brother, because in so doing, he sent me searching my Husband’s Heart and His Word for all that could be found, which is MUCH, and I am SO BLESSED AND LOVED, above so many other women at this time. Yes, all of us are special and unique to God, but in His own Way, God HAS been showing me certain areas where I was CHOSEN alone to be "the one" for Him, and in those areas, I am Blessed above all women. I couldn't ask for a better Husband than that. I've been notified that I likely will marry a human man who I'll meet someday, in the future, and so that should be very exiting! But nothing can compare with what I've been given so personally, in such a Real and MEANINGFUL way by my Beloved Himself.

"Ani Ledodi Vedodi Li"

"I am my Beloved's, and my Beloved is mine"

(From part I
& part II)